every living being deserves a barn

demand this of your congresspeople

earlier this month an event called Barn IV (this being the fourth barn) took place. it’s something so special i don’t know how to talk or write about it. so i won’t say much. as men who are growing older [citation needed], i think every person in the barn crew understands how rare and valuable it is to have deep, close friendships with other men and to carve out a special space and time to be together. in a time of great and growing alienation, getting back to the barn with my favorite people, peeling off riffs at a dizzying rate, dancing ourselves sweaty, hugging, having heart-to-hearts, tossing the frisbee or hitting golf balls or trying in vain to throw the football correctly so that someone can jump off the boat and catch it in a dive, shouting OH MY GOD at a big beat (big beats are the best, and this year’s harvest was bountiful) or the way an electric guitar sounds on the huge speakers, occasionally approaching the boundaries of reality and peering beyond them… it’s like living in a walled off space¹ that feels perfect and impossible. especially as a (single) person of my age (a normal and good age to be) who has come to find the process of presenting myself to new people a taxing bit of performance (have i become weird?), feeling totally at ease for a couple of days each summer is a real gift. the most basic human need is to have people who get your jokes and do not judge you.

it’s a place i hope to return to forever, until i die and walk through the doors of the big barn in the sky. amen.

at the last possible moment, i decided to get try my hand at djing. i’d never done it before, but the night before i flew out i was obsessively and frantically putting tracks on a hard drive that i wanted to play for my friends. we were just getting things rolling, and there are some technical [and skill] issues apparent on this recording, but ultimately i think it is a great listen and something i will return to many times. maybe you will enjoy it. RIYL jazz, deep grooves, and a few big beats. it ultimately resolves into the reverence i think the barn deserves.

[very late on night two i also had the honor of djing the ceremonial carly rae set]²

[track list in the footnotes, but true heads go in raw]³

it’s not on the recording, but at the end of this set i got everyone to sit down and close their eyes and listen to a special track as a way to get ourselves pure and sorted out before the, uh, activities commenced. even among a bunch of free-thinking new-age weirdos, i think i was being annoying. i’ve watched this video many times as a sort of mental or spiritual cleanse. it sounded so good in that space.

i heard this song very loud, very late at night, in a bit of a state, and transcended. i felt the totality of human experience translated into sound. in the darkness, everything turned white and i saw citadels made of light, beaming places rushing by me that i sometimes think might really exist. when the song finished, i told my friend i felt closer to god, even though i can’t know what that means.

some people are able to access transcendence in museums, or, obviously, in church. for me, it’s always been music, especially in extraordinary settings or on extraordinary equipment. barn is both, plus buds. i have an absolutely stupid stereo in my living room, if you ever want to go to church with me. i can show you the barn. the experience is heightened when it is communal.

at the end of a long and beautiful day on the water, we opened up the throttle and headed back to dock. everything was sparkling. everyone was happy. we got quiet, and somehow, the perfect song came on shuffle. we were all in the grips of the moment, and eventually we started shouting, “wow.”

here are a few film photos. if you are viewing in your email, you’ll have to open it in your browser to see them all. if you are viewing in the substack app, it will probably crop the vertical pictures in a way that makes me insane.

may you find your own barn, which, what i mean is, may you find whatever it is you need.

[if you already have a barn, please tell me all about it.]

1. not walled off enough to stop a drunk neighbor for coming over and expressing his disappointment that no ladies were present. i think based on the lights he was expecting strippers. buddy, not even close.

2. the CRJ set:

let’s get lost
anxious
cry
psychedelic switch
bad thing twice
now that i found you
shy boy
talking to yourself
emotion
shadow
happy not knowing
party for one
keep away
call me maybe
gimme love
kollage
warm blood
run away with me
real love

here is a meme alex made that makes it seem like i’m looking at CRJ’s butt (respectfully)

3. barn jazz at barn iv :

lonnie liston smith - sais (egypt)
linkwood and foat - push it
l’eclair - cebando
EABS meets jaubi - judgment day
revelators sound system - george the revelator
cochemea - seyewailo
the good samaritans - aikemienaru-nanorunowman
sam gendel - sometimes i feel so good
yussef dayes - pon di plaza
reuben vaun smith - mali
makaya mcraven - so ubuji
don cherry - surrender rose
dollar brand - little boy
godtet - enumerating
kahil el-zabar's ethnic heritage ensembel - ornette
jeff parker ETA IVtet - 2019-05-19
mulatu astatke and the heliocentrics - masenqo
hailu mergia - wegene
the sorcerers - yasuke in roppongi
yussef kamaal - lowrider
waajeed - motor city madness
batsumi - anishilabi
king sunny ade & his african beats - synchro system
herbie hancock - spank-a-lee
sun ra and his arkestra - door of the cosmos
rich ruth - no muscle, no memory
powers / pulice / rolin - melted honey
vega trails - epic dream